write again.watch good movies.listen to Iron and Wine over and over during silent sunsets.run away from meanies who look down on me.stay happy with Anthony.live peacefully.run with good music on.for real.go swimming again and be one with the waters in all its comfort and serenity.study hard and ace my exams.laugh so damn hard as if laughter is the only thing left in life and all else are meaningless.read good books and sniff back tears or choke in laughter when i reach the 50th page.move on and keep moving forward.grow away from the hurts and pains life has cost me.keep my chains with Atticus Finch, Phoebe Scofield, Zoey Glass and all colorful things that fuck the mind beautifully.
stay fidderent.misunderstood.dista nt.and one with the few people who share the same soul.
If you don’t know how to bluff, you just have to know when to fold.
~ Wisdom of a poker addict
Is like staring at a blue sky covering serene waters
After six years of struggle, the white flag is finally being raised and peace is sowly sinking in, healing my heart. Hugging and asking me come home to life. It felt like forever, when I was wondering where and who I was. Swimming, and lost in time, in self. It was forever when the thirst for writing was burried and sileneced. I’d be dead if I don’t come home to life now. I can’t stay dead forever. Not from this. And not from me. I was running for a long time trying to keep up with life. I kept running and running. Until I forgot why I was running. But I just had to keep running. Then I lost myself and everything became a chaos of failures, disappointments, hope, struggle, fighting, love and more struggle.
It seemed unending - journeying as a college student. The road has finally stopped. Suddenly it’s not a crossroad in front of me. But a mesh of superhighways crisscrossing here and there. I would understand if I’d feel lost now. But I am not. My feet are happily standing still on the ground looking at opportunities, dreams and the future. I have a resolve I intend to live by. I will still live by it - that I will live for the things that truly matter and for the people who are important to me.
I want to write again. Draw again. Colour manga panels. Sing and play the guitar. I want to live again. It’s about time. Life is sweet and it’s a good thing to be alive!
Today I walk holding my naked and fragile heart in my hands.
The world is full of meanies but I will keep walking.
God, help me.
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