I always find myself trying to write something in here and just end up erasing it. It doesn’t take a genius to figure out why. I hate pretending. I can probably convince every body that I have moved on just fine. The sad thing is I have not convinced myself. I hope that someday, there will be no need for convincing. I cannot wait for the day when thinking of him will not hurt anymore. I guess it doesn’t hurt as much as it used to, but the pain and the sadness is still there.
Right now, I am just doing my best to pretend that the silence, the distance and the indifference is not tearing me apart. I am happy I get to laugh with friends and just do things that will take my mind off of it. I hope that one day I will be able to burry this stabbing pain and just come out complete with still much love to give to people who truly and genuinely care.
It’s crazy, I keep telling myself to not write about this (anymore) because it is getting pretty old and I think I am being pathetic, even (which is a sad thing). *Smiles to this*
There are lessons we all have to learn the hard way - perhaps, they’re too big to get it all done with in just one gulp. We all just have to deal with them as fashionably as we could because they are part of our reliaties. Letting go is a big elephant in my room of reality right now, and it’s a process that I have to go through over and over. I just wish I was good at pretending. But I’m not, so here I am trying not to be overly dramatic, pouring out a chunk of my soul as a form of a crime in this blog. So, help me god.
Every time I visit this blog, I always have to take care of spams on my message boards. It is becoming exhausting. I wonder when this blog became a spammer’s favorite spot for posting links to their sites. Surely, my blog does not have a good PR.
To all you spammers, if you try to spam on here, I assure you that your links will not have the pleasure of staying long because I will be deleting them. Please, leave my humble and silent site alone.
